DON'T SH*T YO PANTS!
Here's a list of things that commonly cause "runner's trots" (AKA they can
make you sh*t yo pants) while running:
o BOOZE!!! All kinds... beer, wine, the hard stuff (I like a
Tanqueray and cucumber! But NOT the night before a run.)
o Excessive caffeine
o Excessive fiber
o Excessive dairy (Ugh. I love dairy, but dairy don't love me.)
o Greasy foods
Tips to avoid sh*tting yo pants:
o Avoid excessive booze, caffeine, fiber, dairy and greasy foods the
night before your long runs.
o Wake up earrrrly so you can start your POOP MOTOR and hopefully go
#2 before you leave your house.
o Bring a little TP or a wet wipe with you.
o Abandon your shame. If you need to poo and the park bathroom stall
has no door, go anyways. Also, in an emergency it's better to poo in the
bushes than to poo down your leg. Just sayin.
Remember only you can prevent poo accidents.
BOOBIES AND NIPPLES
Ladies: I know it can be awkward to ask male staff about bras and
boobie-related matters. Please trust that a) Coaches Biff and Scott are
both happily married, b) neither Matthew nor myself are boob guys, and c)
we're all super professional anyways. But hey I get it if you're shy. You
can also speak with Coach Monica this weekend or Coach Cindy at the
Wednesday Night Track Workouts (info at bottom). Regardless, I encourage
you to PLEASE call A Runner's Circle
make an appointment to be properly fitted for a sports bra if you don't
already have a stellar one.
Gentlemen: Every season fellas dismiss our warning to put bandaids or
nip-guards on the nipples to avoiding chaffing and "bloody nipple."
Ignoring our advice is all fun and games until you hit the shower after a
long run and... well... you'll see how that feels. "AH!!!!!!
OHHHHHMYOUUUUCH WHYDOESGODHATEMEEE???!!!!" is what your neighbors will hear
you scream from the bathroom.
Ok ladies and Gents wish me luck on my 12 miles today! :/
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